Marriage

Marriage is found in all cultures. It is nearly universal.  It is foundational to human society.  Marriage has a positive effect on health and wellbeing.  In marriage, families are formed and children are raised.  And yet today, I find that in Western culture marriage and families are considered to be not very important. Instead the individual is considered to be much more important. Below I will describe marriage with a few insights I have learned.  It will be a Biblical view of marriage.

God instituted marriage from the very beginning.  Jesus summarizes it well when he said, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?” (Matthew 19:4-5; Genesis 1:27, 2:24) God designed marriage for us.  It is a gift to us.  (Note some are called to be single and marriage is not for them (1 Corinthians 7:7-8).)

Marriage is a public covenant and a commitment you make in love.  You promise and bind yourselves only to each other for life.  Because of that commitment, marriage creates a safe place where intimacy rules.  It is not just physical or sexual intimacy, but it is all the other types of intimacy too. You can safely share your concerns, your faults,  your mistakes, your sins and everything else, because your spouse is there for you and will not run away.  You can be vulnerable. They love you and want the best for you.   They will listen to you as you share.  They will forgive you.  They will help you restore what has been broken.  

Also marriage is a safe and stable place to raise children.  The family is the building block of society.  Studies have shown that children do better when both parents are a part of the family.  Fathers are especially needed. The cornerstone of a Christian marriage is Jesus Christ.  He is first in the marriage with your spouse as second, and the children are third.  Children learn by watching how the husband and wife love and serve each other. And they also learn to serve God by watching their parents.

A Christian marriage is a witness to the world of God’s faithful love for us, his sacrificial service of love to us, and his loving commitment and pursuit of us.  A Christian marriage displays the relationship between God and his people.  God has been faithful in his love for us.  Unfortunately, we have put ourselves, others, and things above God.  We have not submitted ourselves to his loving guidance, and yet he still loves us and pursues us.  He is so committed to us that Jesus came and died for us to allow that intimate relationship with us to be restored.  Jesus is our bridegroom and we are the bride.  

There is no such thing as a perfect marriage.  A marriage joins two sinful people, so there will be problems and issues you have to deal with, but because of that covenantal commitment you both can work though those problems and issues. You need to talk with each other and especially listen to each other. You need to forgive each other.  Great marriages require that commitment and for both of you to work at making the marriage great.  It is worth the effort.