Love, Intimacy, and Commitment

I believe marriage is all about love, intimacy and commitment.  I think these three attributes help determine the success of a marriage relationship.  All the different types of love need to be found in marriage.  Intimacy includes all the different forms of intimacy.  And it is an all out commitment that both share to make the marriage work.

When we think of marriage we always think of the romantic type of love.  That is an important part of marriage but more important is friendship love and sacrificial love. It is good and important to share our lives with each other.  And it is good and important to give ourselves to the spouse by putting their needs ahead of our own.  Romantic love by itself devolves into nothing more than feelings, but true love that includes friendship and sacrifice along with the romance is so much more.

Intimacy is physical, emotional, and mental.  We open ourselves up to each other and make ourselves vulnerable.  We trust each other so that we can share our fears, our emotions, our successes, and our failures.  We know each other physically, emotionally, and mentally.  We understand.  We know the ups and downs of each other and in that spirit of trust we can be a support for each other.

Commitment is the third attribute of a successful marriage.  Because we are broken people in a broken world, it takes work to make a marriage successful.  That honeymoon period is not forever.  We have to deal with our own brokenness and our spouse’s brokenness to keep the relationship strong.  We need to be willing to reconcile and forgive each other.  We need to maintain and restore our marriage.  We cannot just coast.  And because of that commitment we can trust each other.

While a successful marriage relationship requires both the husband and the wife to actively pursue these attributes of love, intimacy, and commitment, I believe the most important part of a marriage is to put God first in your marriage and in your life. That gives you a firm foundation to build on.  The blessings of the Father who created marriage, of the Son who shows us true love, and of the Holy Spirit who empowers us to love each other are immeasurable.  Let God’s love reign in your hearts and rain down on you and your marriage. It makes a difference.

If you want to improve your marriage or think your marriage can use a tuneup, check out the Marriage in Christ seminar website. I think it is a great series of 5 lessons (with homework).  It strengthened our marriage and I think it can strengthen your marriage too.